Everything Apple Announced at Today's Event in 13 Minutes

This was probably the most disappointing keynote that I remember.

Everything Significant Apple Announced at Today's Event in 0 Minutes: .

What a joke. Apple really pushing their lazy incrementalism with these minimal annual updates.

AW S10 is thinner with a bigger screen — great! But no new health sensors and SpO2 not resolved? And what’s with the hideous large bezels? For the Ultra, last year’s model gets a new color and some hideous Hermes bands. Come on…

The 4-year-old AirPods Max got a port update and… that’s it.

iPhones’ RAM and cameras are behind the Pixel Pro 9. But hey, the A18 “challenges latest desktop processors” so you can load TikTok filters faster, I guess? And boy are they pushing AI as the next big thing with iPhone to fill up time.

Don’t worry though: everything’s carbon neutral!!!!!!

I’m still most impressed with the hearing protection/test/aids that’s going to be added to the AirPods Pro 2. That’s a huge deal, even if it’s being underplayed.

Over a hundred thousand highly paid Apple employees worked for a year to give us these? I mean do they not have a single person working on the AirPods Max? Couldn’t even be bothered dropping in a new chip. Just new colors and usb c… for $550. Ditto Apple Watch Ultra.

Lazy and extremely greedy.

I'm trying to watch this now but the most striking thing about this one is the crackhead they put in charge of the music. The combination of ambient synth pad, detuned chiptune vox and doubletime disco beat at every break, is starting to make sense of some of Silicon Valley "culture", between micro-dosing acid all day, the awkward standing & power posing, aggressive praying gesturing, going around scanning peoples pets instead of talking to them lol, I'm no longer sure I want to be on the same spaceship as these people when we leave earth.

I miss the spontaneity and human connection of a live keynote in front of a real audience. These perfectly polished pre-made videos just feel like sterile advertisements, completely disconnected from reality.