Apple's Siri Learns New Jokes

Apple appears to have recently updated Siri on iPhone, iPad, Mac, and HomePod with a slew of new jokes to tell. Based on reports on Twitter and from MacRumors readers, the new jokes started rolling out earlier this month.

When you ask Siri a question like "tell me a joke" on an iOS device, Mac, or the HomePod, Siri has dozens of fresh responses to share with you.

  • "What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef."
  • "One night, I paid $20 to see Prince. But I partied like it was $19.99."
  • "I taught a wolf to meditate. Now he's Aware Wolf."
  • "What do you call a labrador that becomes a magician? A labracadabrador."
  • "What do you call a talking dinosaur? Thesaurus."
  • "What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies."

With the humorous new additions, Siri's joke repertoire has expanded significantly, and you need to ask for jokes several times before hearing a repeat. Siri also appears to have new knock knock jokes, accessible by asking Siri "knock knock."

Apple updates Siri on a regular basis with new content in an effort to instill the personal assistant with personality and expanded capabilities. In February of 2017, for example, Siri promoted the LEGO Batman Movie with a series of funny responses to the query "Hey Computer," and when Pokémon Go was released, Siri was updated with several Pokémon-related responses.


Siri is often criticized for shortcomings in comparison to AI-based offerings from competing companies like Microsoft, Amazon, and Google, which is said to be due to Apple's heavy focus on protecting user privacy.

Apple is aiming to make major improvements to Siri, however, and has recently hired former Google AI chief John Giannandrea and the team from Init.ai, a customer service startup focused on creating AI with natural language processing.

Top Rated Comments

(View all)
Avatar
32 months ago
There’s a lot of things to fix about Siri making her learn new jokes should be last on the agenda
Score: 66 Votes (Like | Disagree)
Avatar
32 months ago
People who use siri: "Siri is a joke"
Apple: "oh ok, here's some more jokes."
People who use siri: " No we said SIRI IS A JOKE... not ADD MORE JOKES.
Score: 55 Votes (Like | Disagree)
Avatar
32 months ago
That’s very useful. Thanks Apple. /s
Score: 44 Votes (Like | Disagree)
Avatar
32 months ago
Apple is literally one giant Siri

Us: "Hey Apple, fix Siri"
Apple: "Ok, here is what I found for 'Fix Siri'"
Apple: ...
Apple: "There we added some jokes, useless ****, and while we are at it, we added a BUNCH of annoying responses such as 'I found this on the web'!"
Us: "No no no... This is not what I meant. Actually fix Siri"
Apple: ...
Apple: "... How about a joke?"

I LITERALLY created an account just for my frustration over the subject

Although the jokes are actually funny, she is still useless. Telling me a freaking joke will not add stuff to my calendar, turn on my alarm, and any other basic thing she should do, any better
Score: 32 Votes (Like | Disagree)
Avatar
32 months ago
Siri IS the joke.
Score: 21 Votes (Like | Disagree)
Avatar
32 months ago
I am just surprised that they did not hold this new functionality for a Keynote speech from Cook. "Its incredible!"
Score: 10 Votes (Like | Disagree)

Top Stories

Here's How You Can Download iOS 14 and iPadOS 14 Around the World [It's Out]

Wednesday September 16, 2020 2:36 am PDT by
Apple's official public release of iOS 14 and iPadOS 14 dropped on Wednesday, September 16, just a day after the company released the Golden Master to third-party developers. Also set to be made available to the general public for the first time are watchOS 7 and tvOS 14. Getting Started With iOS 14 Video Click image to watch iOS 14 Getting Started While that's left a lot of developers...

When Will the iPhone 12 Launch? Here's What We Know

Wednesday September 16, 2020 6:12 am PDT by
Yesterday's "Time Flies" Apple event saw the release of the Apple Watch Series 6, Apple Watch SE, iPad 8, and iPad Air 4, but no new iPhone models. Rumors before the event strongly alleged that it would not see the unveiling of new iPhones, with many reports pointing to an October launch. The lack of new iPhone models yesterday seems to confirm that the iPhone 12 lineup will not appear...

Apple Releases iOS 14 and iPadOS 14 With Home Screen Redesign, App Library, Compact UI, Translate App, Scribble Support, App Clips, and More

Wednesday September 16, 2020 12:48 pm PDT by
Apple has released iOS 14 and iPadOS 14, the newest operating system updates designed for the iPhone and iPad. As with all of Apple's software updates, iOS 14 and iPadOS 14 can be downloaded for free. iOS 14 is available on the iPhone 6s and later, while iPadOS 14 is available on the iPad Air 2 and later. The updates are available on all eligible devices over-the-air in the Settings app. To ...

Apple Updates AirPods 2 and AirPods Pro Firmware to Version 3A283

Monday September 14, 2020 11:24 am PDT by
Apple today released new 3A283 firmware updates for the second-generation AirPods and the AirPods Pro. The second-generation AirPods are being updated from the 2D15 firmware they were previously running, while the AirPods Pros are being updated from the 2D27 firmware they had installed previously. Apple does not provide details on what's included in refreshed firmware so we don't know what's ...

Spotify Says Apple One Bundle Will Cause 'Irreparable Harm to Developer Community'

Tuesday September 15, 2020 12:26 pm PDT by
Apple today announced Apple One, a series of new subscription bundles that provide access to various Apple services at a combined monthly price. In response, Spotify sent out statements (via Peter Kafka) to the press decrying Apple's anti-competitive behavior and calling on "competition authorities" to stop Apple before it is able to cause "irreparable harm" to developers.Once again, Apple...

iOS 14, iPadOS 14, watchOS 7, and tvOS 14 Will Be Released September 16

Tuesday September 15, 2020 11:06 am PDT by
Apple today announced that iOS 14, iPadOS 14, watchOS 7, and tvOS 14 will be officially released on Wednesday, September 16. Apple has seeded the final Golden Master beta versions of each update to developers in advance. ‌iOS 14‌ and iPadOS 14 introduce dozens of new features, including a redesigned Home Screen that supports widgets on the iPhone and iPad for the first time. For more...

New AirPods Pro Firmware Introduces Spatial Audio Support and Automatic Switching

Monday September 14, 2020 12:22 pm PDT by
The new 3A283 firmware that Apple released for the AirPods Pro today appears to introduce support for Spatial Audio, a new feature coming to the higher-end AirPods with iOS 14. Multiple reports on Twitter and the MacRumors forums indicate that the firmware update adds a "Spatial Audio" option to the Control Center, which can be activated to enable the feature. Note that using Spatial Audio...

Apple Releases Safari 14 for Mac Ahead of macOS Big Sur Launch

Wednesday September 16, 2020 1:40 pm PDT by
macOS Big Sur didn't launch alongside iOS 14, iPadOS 14, tvOS 14, and watchOS 7 today, with the update coming later this fall, but Apple did release the Safari 14 update for macOS Catalina and macOS Mojave users. Safari 14 brings improved performance, customizable start pages, a Privacy Report to see which cross-site trackers are being blocked, and a new tab bar design that provides tab...

Full Transcript of Apple's 'Time Flies' Event With Apple Watch and iPad Updates

Tuesday September 15, 2020 8:46 am PDT by
Apple's virtual "Time Flies" event kicks off today at 10:00 a.m. Pacific Time, with Apple expected to debut new Apple Watch and iPad models, but it appears we may not see the iPhone 12 until next month. While we're not expecting to see new iPhones today, Apple's software updates for its various platforms are likely nearly ready for launch, so we may be hearing more about them today. Check...

Everything Apple Announced at Today's iPad and Apple Watch Event in Just Seven Minutes

Tuesday September 15, 2020 2:19 pm PDT by
Apple today held its annual September event, but this year was a bit different because no new iPhones were announced. The "Time Flies" event focused on the Apple Watch Series 6 and the iPad Air, and saw the debut of a new Apple One services bundle. Subscribe to the MacRumors YouTube channel for more videos. It took Apple an hour to introduce the new devices, but we've recapped the event in...