Macworld San Francisco 2008 Keynote Transcripts?

We've received two purported transcripts for the Macworld 2008 Keynote. For some reason, fake transcripts appear to be a popular thing to submit to rumor sites. We publish these for discussion and interest and feel that they do not represent legitimate transcripts about what to expect at Macworld Expo 2008.

The transcripts are reproduced in the comment thread.