Phil Schiller Says November 2016 Had the 'Highest Monthly Sales Ever in App Store History'

Phil also said the memorable "Can't innovate anymore my ass".

Man, this is shaping up to be a very depressing holiday period for the Apple lovers.

There, fixed it for you.

I've been in Apple-induced depression for years now, but this holiday season drives it home further than any other, after the disaster (in my opinion) that is the current Apple product lineup.

Man, this is shaping up to be a very depressing holiday period for the Apple haters. Record breaking sales of the new MacBooks; record breaking sales of the Apple Watch, and now record breaking App store sales. Not to mention Apple Pay reaching 75% of all US transactions, the iPhone reaching 90 plus percent of the entire cell phone industry profits and on pace to sell close to 80 million phones this quarter!

Don't give up though. Get out from under the bed and get back to trolling. Remember how therapeutic it feels! In case you've lost the notes, in the holiday spirit I've reproduced a few of the main ones you need for effective Apple trolling:


* "It's time for Tim Cook to go!"
* "All Apple cares about are emojis!"
* "Everybody I know is switching to Android"
* "Quit giving us gimmicks like the _________ when are we getting a new MacPro?"
* "The new ______ is the (computer, display, router, music store, paper clip, etc.) Apple should have made!"
* "Apple is just doing this to sell dongles!"
* "This just shows Apple's delusional fanboys will buy anything"
* "This is all about Jony Ive's obsession with thinness!"

and, of course, when you can't compose a coherent thought, but still want to respond to any topic, remember the reliable quick grenade for any social media situation: "Courage"

March on team, and remember Winston Churchill's famous words -- "Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy!"

Phil always says that the most recent thing was the biggest best ever. He needs to actually do something and stop saying.

Perfect for Apple. Money comes in without their having to build anything.

Remember that most of that money goes to developers, large and small. Thanks to the App store that Apple built with its billions of dollars and hard work and talent of its employees, developers have garnered about $60 billion dollars so far. Think of that amazing statistic and the impact it has had on people and their families. But for Apple building the fantastically successful iPhone and iPad, and the terrific iOS, and great App store, the hundreds of thousands of developers throughout the world wouldn't have this opportunity to impact the world from whereever they live and make this money with their hard work and talent. It's a beautiful marriage that we should celebrate during this holiday period.

Merry Christmas to all

Phil's ego and waistline seem to be the "biggest and best ever"....